Be clear, think straight and face situations boldly

I am a graduate and have too many goals that I want to achieve. My mind keeps wandering all the time and I am unable to work on a single goal. I feel stressed and need a solution to come out of this state of mind.

What you need to do now is to identify your passion. The best way to do that is to write down all the goals that you want to achieve and then visualise in your mind how you would live with each of them for 10 years. When you analyse it at the macro level you would be able to identify which one excites you the most. Then prioritise it. This will surely give you clarity on what you want to do.

I was in love with a girl in college. In my second year, she moved to another city to pursue CA. Then she started avoiding me. Before she left I had introduced her to my parents and got their approval for our marriage. But now, she says that she is in love with someone else and her relationship with me was just an infatuation. I was completely shattered upon hearing this. I am unable to do anything and feel completely depressed. Please give me some advice?

You need to be first very clear about what you want to do with this situation. If you are feeling betrayed then directly confront the person and get things straight. See whether there is any truth in what she is saying.

If she was only infatuated with you, then there is absolutely no use crying over it. Consider it as a blessing in disguise. Imagine the pain you and your family would have had to undergo if she had done this after marrying you. Remember that you can never make a cat bark. Crying over this fact is not worthy of your time. You need to focus on your future.

I am a 25-year-old MPhil student. I am always pessimistic and panic about unnecessary issues.I am not brave enough to face any problem. Please give me a solution.

Your history sounds very similar to a long-standing anxiety disorder leading to panic attacks. You need to first consult a qualified health specialist to rule out cardiac or thyroid abnormalities. If they have been ruled out, then try to reduce anxiety with behaviour therapy, relaxation exercises, hypnosis and mild forms of meditation. Inspite of all this, if you continue to keep getting attacks then you need to be started on anxiolytic medication.

Dr Kannan Gireesh is a consultant psychiatrist, psychotherapist and counsellor. He lives in Chennai. Students and parents can SMS their questions to +919841416422 or email edex@newindianexpress.com