‘Marry the right person, not the lineage’

A marriage is between two human beings and not between two castes,” says  Arivuselvan alias Selvaraj. An Arunthathiyar, he married Rohini from P N Pudur in Coimbatore, who hails from the Devanga Chettiar community, 11 years ago. “In the 11 years of our wedded life, not a single issue has risen between us in the name of caste,” says Arivuselvan.

“I knew about my son’s relationship with a girl only after he had registered the marriage to avoid future problems,”  says his father Kalappirar Kuppurasu. “Then, I took the initiative for the marriage and arranged a formal reception at my home.”

But for Rohini, it was not that easy with her family. When her parents learnt about the registered marriage, they filed a petition with the police alleging that the boy was trying to usurp her property. Hence, Rohini gave it in writing that she would not stake claim to  her family property.

“I had decided to live with Arivu but wanted the love of my parents too. It took several years for my father to accept Arivu as his son-in-law,” says Rohini. Her father realised the real affection of his daughter after he was diagnosed with cancer two years back. Though he has an elder son, it was Rohini and Arivu who took care of him.

“Now her father and mother often visit our house and spend time with our children. However, her brother is still not willing to accept me as her husband,” says Arivu.

But if one asks about the happiest moment in their life, both Arivu and Rohini has the same answer: The surprise gift of triplets, three boys, two years into their marriage. “This unexpected gift from God made life happier, erasing memories of the the bitter days during the marriage,” Rohini says.

Each of the boys was give a name of the same prophet of peace: Siddharthan, Gouthaman and Buddhamitran. The boys study in fifth standard in a city school.

Arivu works as an interior designer and Rohini is a cashier in a private hospital.